i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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