I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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