Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
