she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
