oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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