So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
