I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
