im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
