Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You are the jesus of drinking
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
