they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Randomize