Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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