Apparently you make a good broom.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
