i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
