Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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