sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
