My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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