I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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