thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i think my cat just said my name.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
