Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
