know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
