i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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