i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
