I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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