So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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