just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
