I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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