nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
