so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize