wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I can text with my tongue
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
