I accidentally burped into my bong.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
