he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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