i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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