i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
