I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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