Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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