I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
