This girl is more easily done than said...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
