my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
