Will you blow on my dice?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Let's get the cat blown out
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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