We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
