Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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