Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
