Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize