covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
