He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
