i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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