Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
That reminds me...we need to get swords
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
