Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
