can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize