From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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