Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
