Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
