so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Everyone says I win the strip club
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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