i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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