Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
