My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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