I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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