Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize