I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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