Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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