I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
