that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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