You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
